Katie's Blog-ness

Fear and Pressing Forward January 29, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 1:46 am
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Success Story

Clipart compliments of openclipart.org and hedwig.
http://openclipart.org/detail/137923/success-story-by-hedwig

I have been hibernating (from social media – including this blog!) for what feels like ages, but it has been so good to step back and allow myself to regain my footing. I finally took steps to get a better handle on the needs of my family, my home, my business, my personal development and reflection, and my educational direction. It has been enriching and I am so grateful that I did.

In this process of re-centering and rediscovery of who I am and who I want to be, I realized that far too often I have allowed myself to pause and avoid trying something that I was unsure I could ever possibly accomplish. I almost did that today with my laundry. I thought it would be absolutely incredible to actually get my entire laundry – all of it – washed, dried, folded, AND put away by the end of this week. (This may seem unambitious to some, but trust me, this is monumental in scale!) Then as I hit my tired point this evening, just after the utter chaos that accompanies bedtime for 6 kids that included a baby with tummy grouchies and a 7-year-old with unfinished homework, I thought about taking the next step towards my laundry goal. Suddenly, it all felt so completely overwhelming. The thoughts that raced through my bedraggled brain went something like this…”That’s not even remotely possible with all the other stuff I’ve got this week. Why should I even try anyway? It’s not like it’ll stay completely done for more than five minutes anyway!”

Fortunately, I allowed myself to pause before giving up on my challenge. I stepped back and cuddled my baby. I took a deep breath and a cool drink of water. I sat and allowed my mind to wander through the random things posted on Facebook for just a few minutes. I read a scripture verse or two. And then, I determined to reconsider abandoning my quest. I had taken the steps to revitalize my spirit and reconnect me to things more important than that Everest-height mountain of laundry awaiting me. It was enough. I swapped another load from the drier to await my attention on the couch to be folded. I dumped damp jeans and tees from the washer in the freshly abandoned drier. I even bravely deposited another load of mess into the washer, knowing full well that would require repeating the swapping process yet again later tonight. I flipped all the dials on both washer and drier and listened as they both began their work to make the process unfathomably easier. In other words, I did it! I took one more step. I made one more push towards doing what I wanted to.

Now, I know these all seem like such small things, but it’s when the small things add up together that huge battles are won. I might have ignored this experience tonight if it were not for the joy of being inspired by someone I have never even met just now. Her name is Amy Rees Anderson. She is an entrepreneur that is now spending her time helping other entrepreneurs to do great things. I am lucky enough to attend a lecture series put on by my university specifically focused on entrepreneurship and she will be the speaker there tomorrow night. I had the idea that I would like to get to know more about her before she comes in order to have a better feel for what I might expect. I am SO glad I did. I have now been highly inspired in just a short review of a few of the things she and her company seem to stand for. I was inspired enough that I simply had to read some of her blog. I am glad that I did. I have homework yet to finish tonight, but had to share some of what she has taught me tonight.

First I read “Feeling Old? You might when you hear this…” that was posted just today. It did indeed make me feel old, but I also felt empowered by what I read. She wrote, “…when you aren’t looking in the mirror you see yourself as this young adult who never ages, but when you look into the mirror you see this other person who just keeps getting older and older.” Unfortunately, I often find myself focusing so heavily on the ageing, tired, frazzled creature looking bedraggled, round, and sagging in the mirror that I forget about that other part of me. I love that part of me. It is that young, vibrant, energetic, happy, optimistic, and eager person inside of me that I have been working to reconnect to. I have been worried that if I didn’t do some things to support the development of that part of me, I might loose that part of me all together. I NEVER want that to happen and Amy Rees Anderson’s blog post reminded me of that.

The other article of hers that I simply had to share was on the Forbes website. It is entitled “Face Your Fear; the Result Might Be Amazing.” It is what essentially inspired this whole blog post that I am currently writing. My favorite part is hard to select when the entire thing was so incredible and spot on. However, I do need to share one small part. She discussed a handful of loosing our youthful optimism, and I would say energy as well. Then she wrote, “Whatever the cause, we began creating barriers and limitations for ourselves that caused us to either try, fail, and give up; or even more prevalent, caused us to fail to try at all.” It was that exact thing that I ALMOST allowed to keep me from conquering the laundry like I wanted to. What it made me realize is important enough to warrant finally taking the time to add to my blog after stepping back for so long. It made me realize that even if there is a chance, even a very big chance, that I will not accomplish something, there is an absolute certainty that I will not accomplish it if I fail to even even try. I would rather try and fall short than never try at all. I will surely gain at least something in my efforts, even if it is not exactly what I would have wished for. That is worth at least trying. Knowing I tried is perhaps even reward enough all on it’s own. And I have NO doubt that when I go to bed this Saturday night I will be grateful that I pushed on and faced my mountain, even if there’s one lost sock that makes it into the laundry basket before I put the last stack of baby blankets away all freshly folded. ;)

 

Better Late Than Never! October 4, 2013

Filed under: FHE Corner — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 10:01 pm
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party1I am sitting here – yes, at almost 11:00 the night before General Conference – trying to print out and organize some things for tomorrow. The funny thing is, is that I know I am not alone. There is a magic thing on a blog (something I never knew existed before last General Conference really). It’s called a stats page. It can tell me how many people have viewed my blog and what they were here to see. It has just made me giggle today to see that I am not the only one that has not got her everything together yet as those numbers of visitors looking for trains or paper dolls or whatever all else (essentially exclusively Conference oriented) has continued to rise and rise tonight. So I say to all ye other folks trying to gather activities at this point in the game, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!!

Let’s just throw a party! Wouldn’t that be fun! To gab with each other as we all hustle about to print that one magical activity page that will work wonders for one kid just when they are starting to be overtaken by a mad case of the ants-in-their-pants bug – just when a speaker starts hitting on something you knew YOU needed to hear. I almost always print WAY more than I can logically need for my kids during Conference. But, hey, that’s what makes our Sunday bag such a delight the six months following – Conference leftovers become great Sacrament Meeting quieters. I was actually hitting the print button with such speed tonight that I may have literally just blown the motor on my printer. HUBBY is working to see what he can do with it, but somehow the very prospect made me laugh tonight. So, however you do it, whatever great things you find, from wherever you find them, thanks for letting me play along a little. It makes me feel less lonely in my last minute preparations. :)

And, with that, I bid you all a happy General Conference filled with the Spirit, fun, and peace! :)

This image is compliments of OpenClipart.org and Cyberscooty – it’s called Party 1.

 

The 3 Bee’s of General Conference September 30, 2013

Filed under: FHE Corner — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 7:06 pm
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PNG fileI can’t believe General Conference is THIS WEEKEND!!!!! I am so excited. I wish I could post a video from church on Sunday of ONE. She could hardly stay in her seat in church on Sunday when it was announced that there are some tickets available to attend at the Conference Center! It was a riot! We may/may not be able to go, but I was thrilled to see that level of enthusiasm for General Conference coming from my 10-year-old!

I realized that I have not contributed anything new this year and wanted to add something. Our Bishop (Jason Lambert – thanks, BTW Bishop) spoke at the end of Sacrament Meeting this week and shared The 3 Bee’s of General Conference. Now, he might have spelled it “be” rather than “bee,” but I just couldn’t help myself going fully into flying honey maker mode on this FHE lesson prompted by his talk. (more…)

 

Closing In September 27, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 7:32 pm
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Do you ever have moments when your heart is heavy? When you know the reasons are all the wrong reasons? When even though you know you are loved and treasured by God and an amazing family, you just can’t seem to FEEL that love within – in the core of your soul where it makes all the difference? When you know that YOU are the only one stopping you from peace? When you recognize all of that and yet you’re simply not sure you have what it takes to allow love and peace into your soul? When you’re not even sure that you WANT to? Or perhaps I am the only one. Somehow I don’t think so, but even if I am the only one, I NEED to write about it. (more…)

 

Hardcore Hormone Horror

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 7:21 pm
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Between TWO and THREE was a challenging time for me. I lost one, but was filled with peace through the experience. I wrote another post about my experiences with that first miscarriage. (Have I mentioned that I hate that word? Because I do!) Then came the most brutally smashing run in with hormones that I had ever experienced – or hope to ever experience. For those that have experienced the crazy hormones of pregnancy, you might be able to grasp some idea of what this was like. For those that have never felt that personally, let me just try to explain a touch. When a woman becomes pregnant, there are hormones that simply jump through the roof. Not only do those hormones skyrocket, but they do it incredibly fast! It is those hormones that enable a woman to pee on a little stick from the drugstore and expect it to indicate if she is pregnant or not. Those hormones are powerful stuff. They make some women violently ill. Others become so tired or ornery that they drive themselves (and perhaps those around them) a bit loony. The hormones that make some girls holy terrors as teenagers once a month are minor in comparison to those powerful pregnancy hormones for many women. I am lucky. I honestly don’t have the worst time in those first days of pregnancy – especially with my girls. I am NOT like two of my sisters that throw up to scary levels essentially from conception on. But, those hormones still sure can pack a wallop, even for me.

What I never knew is that when a woman miscarries, those hormones drop off almost as fast as they pumped in to start with. That combination can be scary. I’d heard of women that dealt with “baby blues” when those hormones drop out at the end of a regular pregnancy, but had never experienced it for myself. I also didn’t think that was possible when there was only a very short pregnancy involved. Well, I was about to get an intense education on such things. (more…)

 

Been There Done That

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 7:15 pm
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As I have written some of my experiences dealing with the loss last year of our tiny son, I realized that there was a piece of back-story that might help in understanding where I am coming from as I have faced this loss. I decided I wanted to share it now. I may have shared at least some of this before, I may not have, but I needed to write about it either way.

Between TWO and THREE, I was pregnant 3 other times. (more…)

 

My Path August 4, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — katiesblogness.wordpress.com @ 11:12 pm
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This has been a weekend of reflection and preparing to move forward. It has been a challenging summer. Between bed rest stir craziness and a brain that has been utterly unable to engage worth anything, I have not been my best self. I have prayed for help to get my brain in gear and pray in a seemingly constant way for things to be OK with my baby and my body. Even when I am not consciously praying, it seems that I have had the perpetual thought of concern mixed with hope, stress, fear, frustration, uncertainty, and a host of other emotions about the possible outcome of this pregnancy.I am finally at a point where I can sit for periods of time without worrying that I am going to cause major harm. I can stand long enough to get some actual work done, or even to prepare a meal for my family! (Tonight’s split pea soup was delicious, even if a bit out of season in this hot sumer weather.) In other words, I finally feel like I am basically out-of-the-woods. I am still extremely careful and completely aware of what my body is telling me. BUT, (more…)

 

 
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