Yesterday was a day of miracles for me. To understand, I will have to give a touch of two items of background from my life the past little bit.
1. We have reached the point of $0 until we are able to gain access to funds that we have had building in a special savings fund that will be used for our business. We have budgeted super tightly and figured out how to have enough to make it this summer of die hard starting a business-ness. Unfortunately, our timing has been delayed for getting the funds that we are depending on. Perhaps that is more information than most anyone else needs to know, but the timing and lack of money are huge factors in today’s experiences for me.
2. I have to figure out all the ins and outs of incorporating our business THIS WEEK (because of the timing thing above). We have started several businesses in the past, but this is our first go-round with a corporation. It is a whole different ball game and I am frantically trying to learn the rules and play the game like a master. It is somewhat all consuming sometimes and a good bit overwhelming almost all of the time.
Now for yesterday… I had learned (thanks to a friend) that they were going to place the Angel Moroni on top of the Brigham City Temple. I have never seen that happen before, but thought how amazing it would be for me and the kids and anyone else that got to be there. I called my sisters here in Utah to let them know and my Mom and they all wanted to get together to watch it together. Fun! Unfortunately, Monday night I realized that we have no money to feed Frank’s nearly dead empty gas tank (Frank is our big-a green-a van according to our little 3-year-old mob boss) AND I have no extra time to spare away from working on the business. I decided we would have to bag the whole thing. When my ring-leader sister called this morning to arrange meeting places and all that jazz, I told her I would not be able to come and meet them. She forced me to recognize the importance of seeing this event and reminded me of the sort-of once in a life-time aspect of it. She offered to help with my kids afterwards so I would have more work time and Mom offered to help with gas money. Though the help with kids was particularly alluring, it was pausing to think about the importance of the Temple and opening up another opportunity for me and my family to bring it into our lives that changed my mind.
We quickly threw lunch in a cooler, got kids ready to go, grab granola bars for a late breakfast in Frank on the way down, threw everyone in Frank and took off. While I was scurrying about to get ready to leave, it was easy to ignore my reservations and just focus on getting there, but that changed once I was sitting still in Frank. All my concerns came racing back, making me wonder what I was doing. Was there even enough gas in Frank to get down to Brigham City? What can I use to pay for gas to get home (I didn’t really want my Mom to need to do that)? How am I possibly going to get everything done for the business – even if our oldest was going to get kidnapped by Grandma for a day or two? I was doubting. I didn’t like how I was feeling and decided to pray. I wanted to know if it was right for me to throw caution to the wind and go down anyway. I felt so good about what I was doing, but I still just couldn’t see how things were going to be able to work out. Again I turned to Heavenly Father. I was not specific, but just prayed for help in our situation and left the details up to Him. That is when everything was able to change. That is how FIVE miracles were able to be part of my life yesterday.
Miracle 1: On the way down, my hubby and I were discussing some of our work on Geungle (that is the genealogy research software that we are working on – and what our business is based on). We spend much of our time discussing things about how the user interface needs to work, what do we do in the background to enable it to do…, and how do we arrange the business side of things to do what is best for the people, the program, and to feed our family after all is said and done. We were having another one of those kinds of discussions and one of the things we have talked about a lot lately led to a change in something about how we want to arrange things. It broadened our scope of thought and will increase – a lot – the value in what we are doing. It was not the thought that was so amazing, but the strong and undeniable witness of the Spirit telling me that this new knowledge was a gift that was being given as a direct blessing of going down to the temple. It was an overwhelming and amazing feeling of God’s love and His willingness to help us and His desire for us to come to Him so that He can bless our efforts.
Miracle 2: Frank’s gas had been very close to empty. We have been driving as little as possible to try to make it until our business finances have been secured. We figured we have at most around $10 that we can use to put gas in his tank. Since he is a BIG van, he kind of guzzles the gas. As we left, I was really not sure we would make it all the way down, but we decided that there was most likely enough that we would be OK to get down and we could figure out how to get back after. We made it down just fine, but the gas gage was not looking encouraging for getting home without needing to use every one of those $10 to do it. I decided to put that part out of my mind and try to enjoy the experience outside the temple. We headed off and DID enjoy the experience very much. The miracle happened when we got back in the car. We still only had our meager $10 and had not yet filled Frank, but WE (at least I) had been filled to overflowing. When we got in Frank and I turned the key in the ignition, I recognized the miracle. The gas gage now showed him being slightly fuller than he had been when I turned him on that morning. It was not like his tank was completely full, but I KNEW we had enough to get home without spending that last $10. Not only that, but even after crossing the mountains, Frank was as full when I turned him off in our driveway as he had been when I first climbed into him before we pulled out of the driveway in the morning. It makes me feel like the widow of Zarephath. Her grain and oil did not magically turn into hoards of food, but it just kept being just enough to make it. I felt like that is what God had done for me as well.
Miracle 3: We sat on the lawn in front of the Tabernacle – right across the street from the spire they were putting the Angel on. Along the front of the lawn there is an irrigation canal that made for a great cool off moment while we were waiting for the winds to die down to enable the workers to get the statue put on. It was just small enough that my sisters and I let all the kids stick their toes in and big enough that we did not let any of them get in (though one of the kiddos did it anyway – hooray for a hot sun that dried him out super fast). We were careful to stay with them while they played in the water, but just as we were having the kids fish their toes out and gather kicked off shoes to head back to our chairs and blankies we got the word that one of the little ones that had stayed back with one sister at the blankies was missing. He is only 2-years-old and no one had seen him wander off and we were not even sure exactly how long he had been gone. It was a horrible moment and we all quickly set off to search. I walked a few steps away from the others and tried to tune into that Spirit I had been feeling ever since my conversation with my honey in the car on the way down. I asked of myself and of the Spirit, “where would I have gone if I was him?” I immediately sent my husband and some of my kids to search in the Tabernacle itself while my other two kids and I headed off to follow the water to where he might have tried to get to it that we would not have all seen him already. I got to him just as he was about a yard or so from the edge of the water. If I had been a few moments slower to get there, who knows what would have happened. If I had been faster in getting there, I would not have been able to see him since he would have still been among the crowd making his way to the open area next to the water and I would have missed him all together. Surely God was looking out for this small boy. I felt grateful to have been able to be the one used by God to find one of His lost little ones.
Miracle 4: When we arrived in Brigham City it was stormy and raining. Eventually, the rain eased and then stopped, but the wind was still blowing. Eventually someone (I do not even know who it was that had this responsibility) came over the speakers using a microphone to inform us that unless the wind calmed, they would not be able to use the crane to get Moroni to his perch atop the Temple. He had been asked to offer a prayer asking for God’s help. It was an amazing thing to be on that lawn surrounded by thousands of people all offering their faith (or at least most of them) to pray for a tempering of the elements. It reminded me of stories when the pioneers prayed together for the tempering of winds or rain or an increase of rain or… and then putting forth their faith and being blessed for it. It did not happen right that moment, but after a time, the winds were calmed and they were able to safely place the statue in his place. For me the miracle was not just in the calming of wind, but in the chance to add my faith to the faith of others in asking for that help. It was in having the opportunity to teach the children in my life that they can add their prayers to ask for the blessings needed by all and have them see the answering of their prayers.
Miracle 5: Really, this was the most profound for me. I think it was most profound because it all happened within ME. I have not felt much of the Spirit lately due to my stupidity in not taking the kind of time I should to stay firmly connected to that Spirit. Yesterday, I felt my spiritual reservoir to the point of overflowing. I felt as though I constantly had to wipe a tear from my eye or close my mouth to keep a bug from flying in through my uncontrolled smile. I feel like I was given myself back – the complete self that has been a bit hidden lately behind piles of “To Dos.” Taking the time to wrote this blog post was an effort to recommit myself to take the time for the things that God wants in my life – not just the things that have looming deadlines. I can’t (and don’t want to) ignore our business or my home or my FAMILY, but I also MUST take the time to keep my heart in the right place so that I can do the best with the other things and so my Heavenly Father can bless me by magnifying my time and abilities.
In short (after a post that’s not so short), I feel my Father’s love for me and recognize His hand in my life and I praise Him for it!