Sometimes I am shocked at the timing for when grief hits. This is a truly stunning video that filled me with light. It is joyful – truly joyful. Yet as the first little boy reached out to moved the Baby Jesus figurine, I was slammed by a wanting pain of missing my little boy that never got the chance to play with our piles of nativity figures or hang ornaments (like my other kids did tonight) or even play the role of the sacred Baby in a recreation of this event. Most of the time I simply take comfort in the power of Hid glorious resurrection that will provide also for the same for my son. But that is someday, and this is now. Tonight, I just want to hold him. I want him in my arms, just for one night. What I want is to hold my little one and hug him and kiss him and sing him my favorite Christmas carols and stroke his soft cheek. What I want, I can’t have. So I think instead, what I need is for my Savior to hold me. To help and to lift me and my heart sits broken once again for what I can’t hold myself. And perhaps, just for one night, my baby might be allowed to help Him hold me tonight.
Angels We Have Heard On High, But Sometimes I Want Them Even Closer December 13, 2014